Starting to realize how stupid and crap the life ive walked

How can i get out of this situation, i am doomed and all this devil shit is bullcrap and its killing my own soul. I need salvation some how. I dont know what to do. Its destroying my life. I think im strating to realize that Satan is the most lieing bastard ever sould walked on the planet. I dont think Jesus will ever forgive me for this.

I think i need exorcist or something to cast out these demons from hell and they're up to no good.
Have i really damaged my life that bad, its not funny. I did have quite alot of experience this year with the demons and the earthquake ive caused, this is getting beyond the joke.

Any way, if you want me out, you all can vote me out and banned me from the game, its up to you and its in your hands.

What i am trying to say, is to apologize to you all that ive caused you since the beginning you dont have to accept my apology if you dont want to and ill stop this nonsense for good.

Ant. Have you been diagnosed as being bi-polar?

I am serious here, not flaming you, not insulting or even joking. It just seems your changes of heart could point at that, in which case, your not alone mate.

My sister has it. But like i always say, hurt my sister...i'll make your death look like an accident. Its a very common condition tho. I even have it a little bit.

Anthony did state when he first started the game that he has 'issues'. I work in the mental health field, and would not be surprised at all if he has a condition.

Anthony, do you have a doctor or someone you can talk to about not feeling well at times?

Just concerned is all.

anthony; if you are serious, see a doc about trying Lexapro. I take it for severe depression, and it is the only one I have tried that doesn't have serious side effects. It won't cure the spiritual problem you seem to be wrestling with (I have had some of those, too.), but it will help you focus a little more so you can concentrate on finding the answers you are looking for, rather than spend your mental and emotional energy just trying to stay barely sane from one day to the next. At least, this is how it was for me.

Well Anthony DOES possess the ability to laugh. I think I got a chuckle out of him... ummm once. lol Laughter IS the best medicine and also doing things in life that make you feel good about yourself. I will do a lil "Ask Lorelei" business here. Anytime you feel a conflict or sadness or anxiety, go buy a pair of shoes. My cure all for everything. :-P

Just like my challenge of exercising EVERY day.... forget the tread mill. I walk up and down the aisles, racing to sales rack after sales rack in the local Shoe Store! Seeeee I kill two birds wif one stone!

A new pair of shoes a day will keep the doctor away! :-)

I have a mild intellectual disability since birth and early last year if i remember rightly i found out the hard way that i was raped by my grandfather when 3 or 4 years old, nothing of bi polar. Next door neighbour has bi polar, i dont blame her, we're friends though, she has came good with me and been good friends since after we had arguements with her problems at me.

Other than that, Pazuzu is possessed in my body early this year, the worst ones is nearly death experience at birth when i was a blue baby, that the mother told me when i was looking for asnwers who raped me and she kept her mouth shut pretty much all the way through until last year when i had a go at me halve brother and uncle about what granddad did.

Alot of things has happened but i took it all in and not showed anyone my pain i gone through especially this year when i spiritually changed.

Nothing wrong with having a disability. Also you are not to blame for your childhood circumstances. Sadly in life, there are a lot of wrongs and good people suffer. Anger and lashing out are pretty common responses to hurt. To find peace, you have to find acceptance that there are things in your life that are beyond your control, and you have to find forgiveness. I hope that your thoughts of possession are something that you have built in your mind as a self protection sort of thing. Although, I'm not sure becoming a disciple of evil is the way to go. After all it was evil that drove the wrongdoings that were inflicted upon you as a child and that of human failing.

I do, however, believe that people can be possessed by demons. There are documented cases.

I wish you luck, Anthony.

Yes i took Pazuzu as my protection from others for the reason. But i wont be putting the inverted crucifix back on if that could be doing the damage. Then i dont blame Pazuzu and i took it the wrong way. She does love me and protected me on number of things this year, she has unconditional love with me. Maybe, just maybe Pazuzu might forgive me for the harsh things i said lately.

Thank you for understanding where my issue is coming from.

Anthony,

Jesus will forgive you, we will forgive you.
That's what decent people do.

If you want salvation as you stated, and want to improve your life you need to take responsibility for yourself.
Don't wait for someone else to do it for you.

Christopher gave you some very good advice.
Talk to your family doctor or a mental health professional.

Do whatever you have to do to make that happen and don't give up on it.

Take Care..

I do take responsibility, why do you think i take it all in my heart. I do lash out sometimes when i get angry, my apology if i hurt anyones feelings because of my anger. That is my reponsibility and i deserved the cop in me face for it. Some things i cant change because of the damaged has been done in the past and i wish i could repair it but it wont make any difference that is why i dont go near any of the family where i come from, they're my arch enemies, the country town i come from. There was this one time my rage was over powered, i hit the damn brick wall and a massive noise was loud and scarred alot of people, some walked away to stay out of it, that is what i needed to hit something but it worked though. Damn it hurt me hand all right, enough for a king hit on any bones because of it.

I think we worked out me problem now. I was talking to me defacto and she even said its the inverted cross with Satan on it and Jesus upside down on the cross that i was wearing. We now know that was causing alot of major problems and our relationship down hill. We agreed to it and got rid off it. Its in the garbage now but i am back with Pazuzu herself and feel much better. I hope her and i will get along fine again like we had before and our relationship is restored again. Never again, that will happen. Happiness again.

Happyness again. But can never stay happy, it dont work all the time.

Kasper.

If you want to say something on my thread, you need to weigh in and stop your threatening with such vulgar language you have been making towards me.

Also, you need to stop being so called superiority over others. Stop making up stories because your full of it and lies. Alright woman, you need your psychological issues to be checked up with your physiatrist. You do have some kind of disorders and that is why you been taking out on others with your anger problem. You really need to see a doctor about your mental condition, honestly you do.

Wish you luck with it.

That didn't last long, huh Anthony.

No, but atleast alot of language has kept down though. I think people are starting to realize the difference and they're side of view.