Military bases

I recently purchased an offensive military base and airports they were delivered and they appear in the list but they do not appear on my country map

Go into map control. Scroll down and make sure the box is ticked next to the bases. I expect this is why they're not showing. Not every target shows on the map when it's overcrowded.

some times, they'll all pile up on one spot, if in the map controls you see a bunch of things with the exact same co-ords, that'd be the case, in addition to spreading things out so you can see them, you can also set things up defensively, you know, more forts on a boarder you'd expect an invasion from, less factories, what ever

True orbiter.
Also look at the map management section.
you can see which objects are painted and which ones are not.

When there are very many, some may not be painted.

Sometimes they are piled up. This is an old problem and I will try to push for a fix for it.