**RED ALERT** Shortage of Toilet Paper on LU

Word has just come in that there is an extreme shortage of toilet paper on Little Upsilon due to all the recent crying of the NLUO.

According to our source, who refused to go on record, it is, and I quote "A crapper beware kinda situation."

We here at NONONLUO News will keep you posted with any future developments of this dire alert.

Reporting live from LU,
Lorelei

Awwwww shoot, I'll go look for me a Sears catalog! Hopefully I'll avoid paper cuts!

im building toilet paper corps in my CEO now to help with the shortage.

These are rough situations we are facing now thanks to the NLUO. This will also affect more trees in our environment as this is where we derive paper. NIX! Where are you???!!! The NLUO is ruining our sim environment!!!

Meh, I use my middle finger anyway.

I'm european - I don't wipe my arse, I wash it. Who's laughing now!? Muahahahaha!

http://www.the-vu.com/2010/12/wash-don%E2%80%99t-wipe-your-butt/

Considering that article is by one Sparklee A Hole, his research must be a life times work.

It is said that a gooses neck is the best thing with which to cleanse ones anus. Porcupines are not recommended, and if you are going to use a hamster, be sure to de-claw it first.

Dearest Laguna and Crafty,

Thank you for your creative alternatives to taking care of poopy situations like the one we face now on Little Upsilon! Toilet Crisis!!!!

You two ain't right! ha ha ha ha ha ha

well Everyone must do their Part! lol@ Crafty and Laguna.

Well just cuz I'm Hydra's Water Girl, dun y'all be getting any weird ideas that Imma gonna start hosing you down! I'll quit! lol

lol@ Crafty & Laguna.

Word has just come in that there are riots breaking out on the streets of LU over the toilet paper/tissue crisis!!!!

The NLUO justice system is NOW hearing cases on toilet paper theft amongst their members!!!!

All chaos has broken out!!!! Innocent people are dying!!!

Woooooooooooooooe unto LU!!!! Will an end to this madness come???

We here at NONONLUO News will keep you posted with any more future developments.

Reporting live from LU,
Lorelei

I'm starting many geese and hamster farms as we speak. Hopefully my pityful effort can 'relieve' the situation.

Crafty 'the wipe' cockney.

lol Crafty.......... as always, you are happy to contribute.