N
Neidy (Fearless Blue)
08 Jul 2010 06:06
Link
WE INTERRUPT THIS FORUM FOR A PRESIDENTIAL NEWS CONFERENCE.
KARL ROVE: Please rise for President Neidy.
PRESIDENT NEIDY: I have a grave message to announce which will cause obvious apprehension among the citizens of our empire. In order to reduce the tension among our citizens, I have provided a sitcom laugh track to accompany this news conference. I have received an urgent request from the Kildare leader to occupy the nation of Brava in Eridana. Further, due to Doublestar arrogance I announce that our empire is in a technical state of war with that empire. I am now ready to accept the Doublestar surrender. Surrender terms are as follows, I get to keep the countries of Raiden and Pandora...
KARL ROVE: (Interrupting President Neidy) Err, excuse me Madam President, Ahh I think...
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Wait a minute Karl. Don't interrupt me. I'm not done with my statement. Now, continuing. I also will demand some beachfront property in the city of Purity which will be...
KARL ROVE: (Interrupting again) Forgive me Madam President...
PRESIDENT NEIDY: (Annoyed) What is it Karl? I'm trying to make statement to the empire.
KARL ROVE: (Whispering to President Neidy) psst psst...war declaration...psst psst...Kildare...psst psst...Utopia
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Utopia! What Utopia? This is Fearless Blue! There is no such thing as utopia on Fearless Blue!
KARL ROVE: (Whispering again) psst psst... peace treaty...nukes... Vicksburg... Macau...psst psst...we owe Kildare...
PRESIDENT NEIDY: MACAU! @#$#@&! We declared war on Doublestar over Macau! You need an electron microscope to find that country on the map!
LAUGHTRACK KICKS IN: hahahaha, woohoo!,heeheeeheeehee,
KARL ROVE: I'm Sorry Madam President. We have an agreement with Kildare.
PRESIDENT NEIDY: What about my beachfront property? Where am I going to park my yacht?
Hohohoho! Tee hee! Hahahahaha! Hehehhehe, harharhar!
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Somebody shut off that damn laugh track machine!
Acacackackack,guffow guffow hahahaha heeheehee zipp!
PRESIDENT NEIDY: (Composing herself) Ahem... I will now take questions from the press.
REPORTER SHAWN VANNITY: Thank you Madam President. I'm Shawn Vannity of "Fix News". Madam President, you are a legend in your own time. Your leadership has brought our empire to great heights. The citizens of our empire will be there to watch as you lead us to glorious victory against the homicidal Doublestarians. My question to you is as follows: What do you think about what I just said about you?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Why Shawn, that's an excellent question! Obviously you have premised your question on solid background research. Your conclusions are right on the mark. I give that question four stars.
REPORTER SHAWN VANNITY: (Chest puffed out, Head bobbing up and down, while looking at the other reporters.) Thank you Madam President. It was an honor to speak to you.
REPORTER KEITH DOBERMAN: (Speaking angrily ) Madam President. I'm Keith Doberman of MSNBZ News. I have a question. You are mad! You will lead our empire to ruin with this war declaration against a massive empire. You should be impeached and tarred and feathered to boot!!
PRESIDENT NEIDY: That is an outrageous question which wasn't even a question! Your conclusions are based on false assumptions which are not supported by any evidence.
REPORTER KEITH DOBERMAN: Well, perhaps my question was a little over the top. I have another question.
PRESIDENT NEIDY: (Testy) WHAT?
REPORTER KEITH DOBERMAN: When did you stop beating your dog?
KARL ROVE: OK. That's enough. Security! I want Mr. Doberman tossed out of this press conference and his press credentials revoked!
REPORTER KEITH DOBERMAN: (Shouting as he is led away) Madam President! I demand you order your "goons" release me. I'm going to have a special comment about this!
REPORTER WOLF BLITZED: Uh Madam President. I'm Wolf Blitzed of C & N News. That's C & N, "the network you can trust", not like that phony SCWN news network...
PRESIDENT NEIDY: (Interrupting the reporter) Yeah,yeah. "The network we can trust", blah blah, whatever. What's your question Wolf?
REPORTER WOLF BLITZED: Um, err, in light of your unprovoked war dec... err, I'm sorry. I mean, in light of your aggressive defensive war declaration against Doublestar, I think the empire would like to know if we are truly prepared for this war. Are the 3 Musketteers with us?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: While we owe everything to our faithful Musketteer allies. I have made this decision independent of them. I am sure we, along with Kildare and Heavens Alliance can thwart Doublestarian evil ambitions.
REPORTER WOLF BLITZED: Um, do you have any other words of encouragement for your fellow citizens?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Encouragement? Absolutely! I encourage all the citizens to pray that "JoJo the Hun" returns my calls!
Hararararahar, hohohoho, hahahahahaha, teeheeheee!
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Will somebody shut off that damn laugh track?...
KARL ROVE: Please rise for President Neidy.
PRESIDENT NEIDY: I have a grave message to announce which will cause obvious apprehension among the citizens of our empire. In order to reduce the tension among our citizens, I have provided a sitcom laugh track to accompany this news conference. I have received an urgent request from the Kildare leader to occupy the nation of Brava in Eridana. Further, due to Doublestar arrogance I announce that our empire is in a technical state of war with that empire. I am now ready to accept the Doublestar surrender. Surrender terms are as follows, I get to keep the countries of Raiden and Pandora...
KARL ROVE: (Interrupting President Neidy) Err, excuse me Madam President, Ahh I think...
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Wait a minute Karl. Don't interrupt me. I'm not done with my statement. Now, continuing. I also will demand some beachfront property in the city of Purity which will be...
KARL ROVE: (Interrupting again) Forgive me Madam President...
PRESIDENT NEIDY: (Annoyed) What is it Karl? I'm trying to make statement to the empire.
KARL ROVE: (Whispering to President Neidy) psst psst...war declaration...psst psst...Kildare...psst psst...Utopia
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Utopia! What Utopia? This is Fearless Blue! There is no such thing as utopia on Fearless Blue!
KARL ROVE: (Whispering again) psst psst... peace treaty...nukes... Vicksburg... Macau...psst psst...we owe Kildare...
PRESIDENT NEIDY: MACAU! @#$#@&! We declared war on Doublestar over Macau! You need an electron microscope to find that country on the map!
LAUGHTRACK KICKS IN: hahahaha, woohoo!,heeheeeheeehee,
KARL ROVE: I'm Sorry Madam President. We have an agreement with Kildare.
PRESIDENT NEIDY: What about my beachfront property? Where am I going to park my yacht?
Hohohoho! Tee hee! Hahahahaha! Hehehhehe, harharhar!
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Somebody shut off that damn laugh track machine!
Acacackackack,guffow guffow hahahaha heeheehee zipp!
PRESIDENT NEIDY: (Composing herself) Ahem... I will now take questions from the press.
REPORTER SHAWN VANNITY: Thank you Madam President. I'm Shawn Vannity of "Fix News". Madam President, you are a legend in your own time. Your leadership has brought our empire to great heights. The citizens of our empire will be there to watch as you lead us to glorious victory against the homicidal Doublestarians. My question to you is as follows: What do you think about what I just said about you?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Why Shawn, that's an excellent question! Obviously you have premised your question on solid background research. Your conclusions are right on the mark. I give that question four stars.
REPORTER SHAWN VANNITY: (Chest puffed out, Head bobbing up and down, while looking at the other reporters.) Thank you Madam President. It was an honor to speak to you.
REPORTER KEITH DOBERMAN: (Speaking angrily ) Madam President. I'm Keith Doberman of MSNBZ News. I have a question. You are mad! You will lead our empire to ruin with this war declaration against a massive empire. You should be impeached and tarred and feathered to boot!!
PRESIDENT NEIDY: That is an outrageous question which wasn't even a question! Your conclusions are based on false assumptions which are not supported by any evidence.
REPORTER KEITH DOBERMAN: Well, perhaps my question was a little over the top. I have another question.
PRESIDENT NEIDY: (Testy) WHAT?
REPORTER KEITH DOBERMAN: When did you stop beating your dog?
KARL ROVE: OK. That's enough. Security! I want Mr. Doberman tossed out of this press conference and his press credentials revoked!
REPORTER KEITH DOBERMAN: (Shouting as he is led away) Madam President! I demand you order your "goons" release me. I'm going to have a special comment about this!
REPORTER WOLF BLITZED: Uh Madam President. I'm Wolf Blitzed of C & N News. That's C & N, "the network you can trust", not like that phony SCWN news network...
PRESIDENT NEIDY: (Interrupting the reporter) Yeah,yeah. "The network we can trust", blah blah, whatever. What's your question Wolf?
REPORTER WOLF BLITZED: Um, err, in light of your unprovoked war dec... err, I'm sorry. I mean, in light of your aggressive defensive war declaration against Doublestar, I think the empire would like to know if we are truly prepared for this war. Are the 3 Musketteers with us?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: While we owe everything to our faithful Musketteer allies. I have made this decision independent of them. I am sure we, along with Kildare and Heavens Alliance can thwart Doublestarian evil ambitions.
REPORTER WOLF BLITZED: Um, do you have any other words of encouragement for your fellow citizens?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Encouragement? Absolutely! I encourage all the citizens to pray that "JoJo the Hun" returns my calls!
Hararararahar, hohohoho, hahahahahaha, teeheeheee!
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Will somebody shut off that damn laugh track?...
