News Flash

White Giant: Dec 19 4947

We're hearing reports of a UFO / UAP that has crash landed in Nairobi, AB4! Moscovium seems to be the fuel they used to travel to this part of the universe!

4 beings have been taken to a secure military location!

Vladimir Lenin

This news greatly interests us. While many claim this is a hoax, we feel it's in our best interests to take this report seriously.

Perhaps some of the Old Ones our people worship have returned to White Giant. Our religious leaders have demanded our leadership assist in any way possible with an investigation into this news.

While we are unsure about what sort of Vladimir Lenin reincarnation we see in the leadership of AB4, we have decided to offer whatever support this nation asks for from us, and request to be kept informed of any developments.

Thank you EO for your support.

Currently these extra terrestrial beings are in a military facility and there has been dialogue and communication with our specialist scientists. Apparently they are from the Zeta Reticuli Star System.

Has any other ruler had any similar crash landings? The Aliens known as "Zeta Reticulans" are very agitated and say more of their ships have crash landed on White Giant!

What's the protocol and position of the New Council?

As seen on the breakroom tv at Emerithe Corp HQ:

Reticulan ships have been found in Sandwichstan. Unfortunately, they were shot down by Sandwichstan's surface to air missiles. The ground crew claimed the craft looked like a taco. They had this to say on the ship, "It never should have come here. They don't belong here. This is a strictly sandwichtocracy. There is no room for tacos here."

Other residents in the empire believe there could be room for the extraterrestrials within other nations. This gentleman from West Springfield had this to say, "Thems extraterrestrial space ships sure do seem marvelous. Besides, if they're flying around in tacos... hwell who doesn't like tacos? I say let 'em stay!"

Leaders in Dragonopolis are currently talking with the survivors from the crash to learn more from these fascinating new beings.

Thank you President Emerithe Cantanine, for informing us that the Zeta Reticulan Aliens have crash landed in Sandwichstan!

I am lobbying the council as what to do with them. Currently The aliens are not complying with us and refuse to communicate! Could electric shock treatment be the answer?

From the Batavian Broadcasting Center (BBC)

Reports of aliens, alien like objects, or anything that has to do with phenomenon of unknown origin is all in likelihood faulty weather balloons coupled with colder-than-average weather and atmospheric conditions according to Government Scientists. Rumors of craft landing and loading up citizens in various locations around the country, notably in areas where non-believers or Chinese citizens reside, are completely false according to an unnamed Batavian official. They also stressed the rumors about the Batavian Minister for Economic Affairs being sacrificed to Mammon, praise his inexhaustible and gluttonous desire for greed and destitution, to appease any sort of extraterrestrials are 'Grossly exaggerated'.

His Majesty Matthew IV wanted to stress the need for all parties to stand down their air defense systems, gather their citizens in the flattest possible area, and stop adding to the global panic around the globe.

In other news, Scientists from Charn have reenforced Batavian findings that the unusually high energy and radiation signatures outside of the solar system some countries have picked up is simply due to the El nino cycle starting around Lacerta.