Blighty (White Giant)

I was in a pub once when this dog with two assholes walked in. Seriously - have you ever seen a dog with two assholes before???

David Blunket and Gordon brown.

Was in the pub the other week when a piece of red tarmac walked in.

"watch out!" said my mate, "that blokes a cycle-path!"

I was in the pub the other week when a packet of fags walk in. My mate said, "Whatch him, he's menthol".

A plate of bacon and eggs walked into my pub the other day. Landlord said "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

A hat walked into a pub, the landloard said, "I'm not serving you mate - you're off your head".

Penguin walks into a pub and asks the landlord " have you seen my brother" ?

Landlord says "How the hell would I know, I don't know what your brother looks like"!

A ghost walks into a pub, barman says, "Sorry - we don't serve spirits"

The Pope, 2 Puerto Ricans, and a hooker walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks "What? Is this some kind of joke?"

I walked into a bar, didn't see it...

Bloke walks into a pub with a steering wheel down his trousers. "That looks uncomfortable mate" says the barkeep, replies the bloke:- "Its driving me nuts".

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman

Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish" says the genie.

The Welshman says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Wales."

With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in Wales was forever made fertile for farming.

The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country. Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye,'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.

The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."

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French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney.

The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

LMAO @ Klarina

After several old episodes of Walker Texas Ranger were aired on French television, The French government decided to surrender to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

leave the cheese eating surrender monkeys alone you lot. At least they have the balls to stand up for what they want, see farmers and truck drivers.

Grabing and Sythening EU funds for there farms ?

Sounds like Corruption rather than bravery >.<

You've been in The Spotted Dog again haven't you Pluto? Hang on...Pluto...Dog...golden retriever er rainbow...nows its all coming clear.

Lmao .im in fact in barking now as i post this lmao

keep the Suggestions to yourself ? ;)

I have lived in Liverpool, Manchester, Essex and home is now in Leeds.

Shakespeare walks into a pub and the landlord says "You're barred."

lmao .. Welcome kitless to SC .. someones got the fed alive again ?

Thanks Pluto.

Well, someone had to keep it going

Im a londener ... were about in essex ? coz i live like two roads from offical sussex

Brentwood, but it's been over 15 years since I left.

Where are you now man without a kite?

I'm on the outskirts of North Leeds.

Klarina, absolutely hilarious!